


If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you've got to pay the toll

by orochisInebriation (asterCrash)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - The Little Mermaid Fusion, F/F, F/M, Grimdark, Little Mermaid AU, Mind Control, Multi, amazingly dave is not ariel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 16:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6526900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asterCrash/pseuds/orochisInebriation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TT: I’ll give you something to take with you to the surface world, an enchanted jade necklace, so that when you realise you’re better off down here you can just throw it into the ocean and I’ll come get you.<br/>TT: There’s just one trade off<br/>TT: If I have to come get you<br/>TT: I’m keeping you<br/>TT: All for myself</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you want to cross the bridge, my sweet, you've got to pay the toll

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stripe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stripe/gifts).



> So I'd like a kind of specific Little Mermaid AU here! The actual set-up here is for a love triangle rather than a poly relationship, but the ideal end goal would be a poly relationship of some sort.
> 
> Basically, you have Jade as the mermaid, Rose as the sea witch, and Dave as the prince. The story works much the same way, only Rose and Jade are friends at the start, and Rose has a very big crush on Jade, so she gets jealous when Jade ends up falling in love with the Prince (or just the surface world, with Dave as an added bonus). Thus the deal to give Jade legs and only let her keep them if she can get the Prince to kiss her, or else live with Rose forever. Hopefully by the end, Rose sees the error of her ways and everybody realizes that Jade is capable of sharing - and hey, if you want to stick to the Disney version, Rose can always hop onto the surface to seduce Dave away and realize he's actually enjoyable to be around. Feel free to play with Rose going grimdark out of jealousy too! But I'd really like this to have a happy ending! Exactly how it ends happily is up to you, so long as Jade definitely gets to kiss Dave and Rose at the same time with all parties consenting.

GG: im telling you, rose, he was the most beautiful thing id ever seen!  
TT: Jade, be reasonable, he was a _human_ , they all look like incontinent seals and smell worse.  
GG: nooooo, he was pretty! and he had these dark circles of glass in front of his eyes, like tiny portholes for his face!  
TT: So you’re saying he looked like a slightly less homely boat?  
GG: augh you don’t get it! youre just like his royal highness >:(  
GG: bark bark you don’t know what you want bark bark listen to me bark bark I’m a dog  
TT: That is the best impression of his royal highness I have ever heard but I’m afraid I’m still unconvinced.  
GG: pleeeeeasepleaseplease rose, i know you can make yourself look like them, why cant you do it for me?  
TT: It’s dangerous up there, Jade. Even if there was no risk in the transformation, the humans think that everything in the ocean belongs in a stew. What would I do if the humans ate my best friend?  
GG: i suppose youd just have to cut them open and get me back :p  
TT: That was one time, Jade, besides humans don’t generally eat their food whole. Think of the side effects, you’re not experienced enough to resist the broodfester tongues, you wouldn’t be able to talk.  
GG: i want it, rose, i want to look like them, i want legs!  
TT: If it’s legs you want how about I give you eight? Then we can match.  
GG: very funny, miss octopants, i want _two_ legs. i want long, beautiful legs so i can win his heart and make him marry me and then ill be _queen_ , rose. queen of the land kingdom.  
TT: You’d be _princess_ of _Derse_. If you just want a title there’s no point in going, you’re already the princess of Prospit and it’s not like old lazybones is about to wake up and give you a run for the throne. His royal highness will certainly nominate you as his replacement when you’re old enough.  
GG: its not about inheritance, rose, its about _romance_. you wouldnt understand.  
TT: I know more about romance than you give me credit for, Highness. In fact I think you’ll find that when it comes to being romantic I am simply the best there is.  
GG: so are you going to change me or not? you know i hate it when you call me highness, it always sounds like youre making fun of me.  
TT: That’s because I only call you it when I’m making fun of you, Highness.  
GG: very funny :B

 

* * *

 

 

TT: I’ll give you something to take with you to the surface world, an enchanted jade necklace, so that when you realise you’re better off down here you can just throw it into the ocean and I’ll come get you.  
TT: There’s just one trade off  
TT: If I have to come get you  
TT: I’m keeping you  
TT: All for myself

 

* * *

 

“Okay, not talking, we can do this. What do I call you though?”

You point at the pendant slung around your neck.

“Necklace?”

You shake your head.

“Pendant.”

You shake your head a little harder.

“Dangly thing?”

You shake your head furiously.

“Stone?”

You stare at Dave in disbelief.

“Gem?”

You realise Dave is fucking with you.

“Rock? It’s definitely rock.”

You smoosh Dave’s face with your palm.

“Okay fine, fine, I get it, I get it. Enough’s enough, I’ll stop screwing around.”

Sighing relief, you let go of Dave’s face.

“Dolores.”

You tackle Dave.

 

* * *

 

 

Dave goes through the motions with you one more time. You then repeat them. You point to your chest “my”, you chop two fingers of one hand down onto the same two fingers of your other hand “name”, a swish of your pinky, a fist, your pointer finger in the air, your fingers pinched in front, J-A-D-E.

“Finally,” he says, as if it had taken more than two minutes to teach you. “It’s nice to meet you Jade. My name’s Prince David Strider of Derse, but that’s a little long to fingerspell so you can just call me Dave instead.” He flashes you the signs quickly, his pointer in the air, a fist, two fingers held up, fingers pinched in front, D-A-V-E.

You respond with a middle finger. Dave smiles at you. You smile back.

“So hey you’re probably getting tired of hanging out on a beach wearing my cape like a shitty towel, how about I get you to the palace and we’ll put you in some people clothes.” He goes to stand up, but you catch his wrist in your hand and pull him back down to sit on the sand. He’s shorter than you by a fair bit, even sitting down like this. As he looks up into your eyes through those shaded eyeglasses you think you see the start of something inside of him. “Oh.” He relaxes down and leans his head on your shoulder.

 

* * *

 

“Dude, please tell me we have a vegetarian option here.” Dave is arguing with his head chef. “I’m like ninety percent sure she’s a mermaid and I don’t want to accidentally feed her something she thinks of like a puppy, can we just stick to the greens today?”  
You sign to him, so quickly that you need to do it a second time slower, F-I-S-H-P-L-E-A-S-E-N-O-O-C-T-O-P-U-S.

“Well okay then, you heard the lady, let’s have some baked fish and a salad, we’ll eat in here.” The chef does that funny human bob thing that everyone keeps doing to Dave and exits through the door, banging it loudly as he goes. “Sorry Jade, Hal’s a bit of a tool but he’s an excellent cook.”

It turns out Hal _is_ an excellent cook. Dave picks up bits of the fish with his dinglehopper, rather than use it to straighten out his hair, as you attempt to do. It’s awful mean of him to laugh at you when the cursed thing gets tangled, it’s not like you’re used to weird human customs! In the end he helps you remove the little metal instrument by pulling your hair out of it, a few strands at a time.

 

* * *

 

“Hey Jade, you’re never going to guess what happened! I know I was only gone for like two hours thirty five minutes and I know we’ve been getting pretty close these last few days, so I wanted to tell you I met the love of my life on my way back from the market at we’re getting married in two days time, isn’t that great? Why’re you crying, Jade?”

 

* * *

 

Through the window, you see them. Rose with her hand around Dave’s jaw, Dave standing at a slouch, looking up at her through his shades.

“Those eyeglasses… You’re able to resist my control?”

Dave’s mouth twitches with effort, like he’s trying to choke down words before he can say them. “A little bit.”

“Fascinating. Take them off.”

Dave struggles with himself, muscles tensing and relaxing with no apparent pattern, as if he were trying to escape his own body. “No,” he says at last.

“I said take them off.”

“Sorry, no can do. Wouldn’t be good for my reputation if it got out that I was taking my shades off in the company of strange women. It’d be a royal scandal is what it’d be.”

“I half believe the glasses aren’t helping at all, you’re simply too stubborn for basic suggestions. I think you should dance with me, Dave.”

Dave looks like he wants to stop himself at first, the corners of his mouth turn down as he admits defeat and extends a hand to Rose. With a leer she takes his hand and lays her other on his shoulder. Unprompted, his spare hand settles on her hip. Though there’s no music, they step backwards and forwards in perfect time, turning around each other to a beat that belongs to them and them alone. You see the glow in Rose’s eyes dim as she trusts Dave to continue the dance on his own, and you flush as you see that he doesn’t stop when she releases her control.

“We don’t get a lot of sea witches round these parts,” he doesn’t protest her domineering, nor does he stop dancing. They look beautiful together.

“There aren’t a lot of sea witches at all. I’m the only one worth mentioning you’re likely to ever meet.”

“Are you strong enough to turn a mermaid into a human?”

Rose smirks at the question, given her low opinion of humans she’s probably impressed this one caught on so quickly. “Perhaps.”

“Are you strong enough to turn her back?”

She pauses for a second, eyeing Dave. Your heart stops, and you worry for a moment that she must have noticed you, before she picks up their imagined beat again and resumes waltzing. “Most certainly. Any little lost mermaids you had in mind?”

“I think so. So what, we get married, you get to lord it over Derse, etc. etc. Everybody’s happy. Then you’ll turn Jade back, right? So she can go back to her people?”

“Half a kingdom is a little less than my usual payment for such a feat, but I’m certain you’ll think of something to sweeten the deal by our wedding night.”

“Whatever your creepy sea hag butt desires, as long as you let Jade go.”

“Well with that level of flattery I’m certain I can oblige.”

 

* * *

 

TT: I know you saw us, Jade.  
TT: And I know you probably think this is cheating.  
TT: But I’m doing this to prove a point.  
TT: He’s cute, I’ll give you that.  
TT: Good company, even.  
TT: Excellent dancer.  
TT: Nice ass.  
TT: That’s besides the point, which is he’s not good enough for you.  
TT: You deserve better, and if he can’t even break my control then he’s clearly not possessing the mental fortitude you need in a boyfriend.  
TT: Or girlfriend.  
TT: The point is he’s wrong for you and I’m showing you this so you can come to your senses and come home.  
TT: Really, you should be thanking me.  
TT: Just throw that necklace in the ocean whenever you’re ready and it can all be over.  
TT: I think I’ll eat him when we’re done.

 

* * *

 

 

You struggle and pull at Dave’s hand but the glassy look in his eyes holds.

“Haha, what’s up, Jade? You seem excited.”

D-A-N-G-E-R

“I’m sorry, I can’t read all that. Maybe later, I’ve got to get ready for the wedding tomorrow. Rose suggested we have it out on the open sea, isn’t she so great? Maybe if you come with, we’ll find you some mermaid friends to party with.”

“Nyu’g hulhr bt jkst var!” You try to shout at him, but the broodfester tongues speak for you, bubbling up out of your throat and silencing you with your own voice.

“Woah, Jade, your mermaid language is kind of scary. I mean not that I’m scared by it but you should be careful where you bust those creepy merwords out, there could be kids or some such within earshot.” He’s still _Dave_ but a part of him is lost to you, unable to understand, unable to help you. “Anyway I’ve really got to get going but I promise I’ll come back after the wedding and we can get to the bottom of whatever’s so important.”

You know you can’t go back if you try this and fail. Rose was very specific, if the first kiss isn’t true love then no subsequent kiss will be. If you can’t break her spell on Dave now you won’t be able to ever and frankly right now you’re just a little mad he fell for Rose’s tricks so easily! It’s not like she’s never tried to hypnotise you before, it just doesn’t work on proper royalty.

You take his face in your hands and lift him up to meet your lips. It’s… less romantic than you thought your first kiss with him would be, he’s not responsive at all at first, not until you open your eyes to try and see what’s going through his head. It’s hard to see through his shades, but you think you can see the Rose’s light fading, Dave blinking it away as he melts into you.

“Jade,” he breaks the kiss. “I’m really sorry but I’ve got to do this. Wouldn’t want to disappoint the family tradition of heroic self-sacrifice and all, got to get you back to your merpeople.”

You shake your head but he doesn’t understand, can’t understand.

 

* * *

 

TG: okay what the fresh prince is this  
TT: I just find it a more useful interface for communicating without having to go to all the trouble of heaving my lungs open and closed, flaring my vocal chords, etc. etc.  
TT: Mostly I just use it to pester people.  
TG: so like a freaky manifestation of your mental domination of me  
TG: nice  
TT: I like to think so.  
TT: Two hours until we’re on, my soon to be husband.  
TG: you know this whole thing is fake right? its not actually going to stand up under any kind of legal scrutineering or shit  
TG: you cant just become queen by hornswoggling royalty into an unfortunate act of matrimonial consummation  
TT: Ah, but if we believe in the lie enough, surely that will make it slightly less fake?  
TT: Really drain the shit out of the fakeness attribute of our marriage.  
TT: Besides, I never said I wanted Derse, you just assumed that.  
TG: well if your oceanic tush isnt craving that comfy ass throne then what exactly are we doing out on this pleasure barge about to make inappropriate use of a priest  
TG: i mean i know my body is the stuff of legend and i am unsurprised to find it is as lusted over under the sea as it is on dry land  
TG: but im not seeing how this benefits you  
TT: It’s quite simple really, you remember your little condition for our wedding?  
TG: yeah youre gonna change jade back into a mermaid  
TT: Most certainly, though for a very different reason than because you asked me to.  
TG: you wanted to turn jade back into a mermaid anyway  
TG: and getting married to me is necessary for that to happen?  
TT: Once she sees how pathetic and easily manipulated members of your species are she’ll come back home willingly.  
TG: oh my god she came up here because of me didnt she  
TT: That is correct, against my strongest advice to the contrary.  
TG: and that got in the way of your crush on her didnt it?  
TT: What.  
TG: its pretty obvious once you put the pieces together  
TG: youre head over heels for her arent you  
TG: well  
TG: head over tentacles anyway  
TG: but she only has the hots for fine human man meat  
TT: You can’t have her, Dave. She’s _mine_.  
TG: alright but have you considered that maybe shes her own person?  
TG: and if not that have you considered that…  
TG: maybe I could be yours too?”

 

* * *

 

“If any motherfuckers can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in the miracle of matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their wicked peace.”

You clap once, loudly, and when not enough people turn around you do it again, loud enough that your hands sting.

You jab a finger into your chest hard enough that it makes a sound, a hollow thud, next is crossing your arms in front of your chest then pointing directly at Rose and Dave, where they stand at the altar gripping each other tightly. “I love him/her/them.” You curse the lack of more specific pronouns with your current limitations.

 

* * *

 

Rose’s dress tears as her normal legs burst out where before she’s only had her fake human set. You slip and fall as your own replacements start to grow scaley, feeling the block of the broodfester tongues starting to slip away from your throat. Guests are screaming and running away from the altar, the priest seems divided over whether to abscond or try to continue with the ceremony. An awful grey pallor is creeping up out of Rose’s collar, her skin tinting with oily rainbows as she turns in the light. Her pupils are starting to vanish. She warned you about this, about what might happen if she over-exerted herself. You’d thought she’d been exaggerating, you thought she would have ended the spell herself rather than let it go too far.

“Just face it, you belong with me, he’ll never love you, not the way I do. Let me take you home, we can talk about this, I’ll make you forget all about him. Just give me the necklace, Jade. Give. Me. The. Necklace.”

Rose goes grimdark.

 

* * *

 

 

“Okay in retrospect, Jade, trying to fight the eldritch sea witch by myself was kind of a bonehead move and I’d really appreciate it if you both never mentioned it again and also saved me from your crazy mermonster ex-girlfriend, but like, if it has to be one or the other I’d kind of prefer we went with the first thing oh shit she’s going to eat me now Jade help, help me Jade, JADE—”

 

* * *

 

The most surefire way to break any curse is true love’s kiss.

Rose’s words echo in your mind as you reach into the inky water sloughing off her body, past the writhing tentacles that seem to have sprouted endlessly from every part of her. She doesn’t look like herself anymore, she looks like someone made a sea urchin out of nightmares. Her face looks so sad. Dave struggles in the grip of one of her larger arms, the rest are trying to push you away, but she slips right off you, something about that inky water isn’t able to stand your skin and it pulses away clean everywhere you touch her.

“Rose,” your voice croaks, sore from disuse and the after-effects of the broodfester tongues. “Rose I’m coming for you.” Her face contorts within the ink, you’re worried that in a few more second she won’t have lips to kiss. “Please don’t leave me, Rose.”

 

* * *

 

One magical transformation later, she’s safe. Dave’s on your right, sprawled out on the ship’s deck. You and Rose have both stayed in your normal forms, for all that a human disguise would suit either of you right now.

“All right, in fairness I may have over-reacted a little bit at the thought of losing you.” Rose looks more apologetic than you’ve ever seen her but frankly you don’t care about apologies nearly as much as you care about the fact that she’s _okay_. “I understand if you don’t want to see me again, but I hope we can still be friends.”

You flop your way across the deck to wrap your arms around Rose. At first she’s surprised, recoiling back as if you had given her a slap rather than a hug, but she soon melts into your embrace. You feel warm tears on your back and she rests her head on your shoulder, no hint of letting you go. You don’t say anything for a while, having gotten used to how easily you can communicate with just your body language, and knowing that this hug can speak volumes more than you ever could with words. Dave comes across to flop down next to the two of you, still casual in the extreme and having recovered his shades, he carefully avoids sitting on one of Rose’s legs and rests a hand on your shoulder.

“So I gotta say,” Dave eventually breaks the silence. “I am not sure that is how weddings are normally supposed to go.” You snort a little, you can feel Rose starting to grin against your shoulder. “I mean normally nobody turns into a sea monster until the reception.”

“Sorry for jumping the gun, babe,” Rose murmurs just loud enough for Dave to hear as well. “This has never happened to me before.” He’s not too cool to laugh at the joke.

“Wait, shit does that mean that fishtopuses have to deal with premature ejaculation as well or did I read that wrong.”

“I spend enough time on dry land to appreciate human jokes. All ocean humour is derived from the illogical placement of crabs.”

“Jade, is she fucking with me?”

“Absolutely not. She once filled my wardrobe, floor to ceiling with horseshoe crabs. It was the funniest thing to happen all year!”

“Rose, is she fucking with me?”

“You’ll never be able to tell. Also our king is a magic dog.”

“Okay. Well the king of Derse is my bro, and he’s going to be _pissed_ when he finds out I just married away a sizable chunk of the kingdom to a sea witch.”

“...Sorry? Does sorry cover this? I’m not sure sorry covers this.”

“It kind of doesn’t. I was thinking though, Jade’s legs looked pretty real, good solid things for walking around on. Given we can’t exactly go back to dry land for a bit, maybe you felt like using some of that funky sea magic on me?”

“Well I can give it a shot. Worst case scenario it’s not like I can make you any uglier.”

Everyone has a good laugh that’s at least a little fueled by all the leftover adrenaline working its way out of your systems. You experimentally give Rose few kisses on her cheek, prompting dave to get in on the action and kiss her on her other cheek. You taste a little salt water on your lips that you know didn’t come from the ocean. You politely don’t mention it. Rose eventually works up the courage to turn her head towards you as you go in for a kiss and then you’re officially making out. Dave doesn’t stop giving Rose attention, but he starts trailing his kisses along to your cheek too and then oh hey you’re making out with him too. And he’s making out with Rose. And Rose is making out with you. And it keeps going around and around and back and forth until you’re all a happy giggling mess.

 

* * *

 

“Rose, what the fuck do you mean ‘male seahorses carry the offspring’.”


End file.
